Finding Your Family’s Love Language


For the past twenty-five years my sweet husband has come home from work and almost instantly started to wipe down counters, get another load of laundry started, or began to vacuum.

When the kids were little one of them brought home a worksheet from Sunday School. On it there were the stereotypical jobs for moms and dads. The kids were supposed to draw lines to who does the jobs. Our child had drawn lines from every job to the dad and only a few to the mom… in my defense I spent the entire 1990s pregnant and caring for infants and toddlers…

For a long time it drove me crazy. I took it personally. I felt like my husband was saying I hadn’t finished doing what he expected me to accomplish for the day and now he had to do it.

Then I came across this Love Languages Quiz. We took it and he scored the highest on Acts of Service. All that he was doing was his way of showing love for me? OK I know many of you are saying, “Of Course he was!” But I really just couldn’t see it. Now I do.

Last weekend we had a real heart to heart with our boys. It’s been a busy summer and they have been working hard… for other people. Jobs around here have not been done. The basics like picking up dirty laundry, pulling the weeds in the driveway or putting away tools have been neglected. At first the heart to heart was more like a ranting session. Frustration had built up to the point of bursting. Then the Holy Spirit reminded us of the Love Language Quiz. I shared with the boys that Dad’s love language is Acts of Service and when you don’t do these basic chores, it is interpreted as disrespect in his eyes. Now the point of these jobs was no longer just busy work that they didn’t want to do, but an opportunity to communicate love to their dad.


This week has definitely been different!

I’m going to pull the Quiz out this weekend and refresh my knowledge on the Love Language of our boys. I think I know, but it will help to know for sure. I want to be communicating love to them in the way they best receive it, too.

Thought you might enjoy this little family activity together this weekend too!

Click on this link to print off the Love Language Quiz I used. It is titled The No Fail Quiz – so there’s no pressure! Everyone passes with honors!