I think my realization started with ear infections. I would take the baby, preschooler and toddler in tow, to the doctors knowing full well he had an ear infection. The doctor would look and say, “There might be something going on, but let’s see if it clears on its own.”
Already having had three sleepless nights with a crying baby, I would look at him and say, “I’ll see you in a few days.”
Sure enough two days later we’d all be back- with darker circles under our eyes, moving a little slower, speaking a little softer due to exhaustion. The doctor would look and say, “Yup, double ear infection. Let’s start an antibiotic.”
That’s when I began to realize I was the expert regarding our children.
It was confirmed as I read parenting books telling me to nurse exclusively for the first year and there would be no colic. Limit the number of bottles of apple juice you give your toddler so they eat better. Don’t provide your sons with toy guns and they won’t even think of playing at shooting.
I nursed and the baby screamed.
I limited the apple juice bottles to three a day and the toddler became dehydrated.
I withheld toy guns from our sons- even water guns- and they chewed their PB&J into handguns and opened fire.
That’s when I ditched the Parent Guides-Nurturing Gifted Children-Raising Perfect Kids-Enriching Your Marriage-Be a Better You books and turned to Scripture.
I began to read only books that were anchored in God’s Word. If it didn’t reveal more of God to me and my relationship to Him, I didn’t want to waste my time with it. Only God fully knew our children, only God fully knew their hearts. Only God knew me completely, only God knew the path for our marriage. Could I trust Him to teach me? Could I go to Him with everything… everything?
I decided I didn’t want anyone else’s ideas, recommendations, or expertise. I just wanted God. I would claim His promises and trust in Him.
“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me and I will hear you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
Why go anywhere but to the Creator of the universe for answers to marriage, child rearing, relationships, career, decision making? There is nothing too big or too small for Him.
“Thus says the Lord who made the earth, the Lord who formed it to establish it- the Lord is His name. Call to Me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” (Jeremiah 33:2-3)
That’s when I realized that my expertise was in knowing where to go to for real solutions, healing and strength.
My Father, I praise You who intimately loves me, my husband and our children. I honor You, my Savior who met me in my sin to redeem. I glorify You, whose Spirit is alive in me to teach, guide and train. Thank You that You never change, Your truths endure forever and they speak into my life at every turn. Keep my eyes on You and let me seek only the wisdom that comes from You. I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.